I feel I was lucky to be apart of such an amazing exhibit and to have an opportunity like that. An old friend from college had recently seen my work, and expressed how much she loved my work. Its always so exciting for me, when I get good feeback about my work. I'll be honest, I don't have much confidence when it comes to myself as a photographer. I know that will come, and I know a lot will have to do with ME! So as much as I do enjoy my own work, and as much as I wish it resembled someone elses sometimes; in terms of quality and knowledge; it really makes me feel good when someone else likes my photos.
So this old friend from college contacts me via Facebook and tells me about an exhibit that will be opening and she knows the guy who is putting it all together. She thought it would be a good idea for me to contact him. And so I jumped at it, not knowing what the outcome would be or the process. I was a bit nervous actually. I didn't know what kind of pictures to send hm, how many to send, which ones to send. I was a wreck. It was another artist who was going to be looking at my work, Would he like it?
Would he tell me that my work wasn't what they were looking for for this exhibit, would he just say No, would he put me in the exhibit and I only have 1 piece while everyone else had 8. I didn't know, and as much as I wish I didn'; I did care. A lot. I'm not around many other artist to learn from daily, or to get confidence from. This is so new to me.
Finally I got the email saying I would be in the exhibit and I had to pieces in it. So you'd think I was jumping up and down. Nope, I was still not satisfied for some reason. There is this part of me that wants to be the best. To want others to know Im the best. But I know, I dont deserve that right now. Im just starting in this, haven't even through the ropes yet. Here I knew there were probably lots of other artist who where much more of experts than me. And here I am with 2 pictures, that he wanted in 8x10. I don't no. I just felt like I was going to walk in there and feel so little, so minute comapred to everyone else.
I walked in and as much as I would have wanted 5 pieces up on that wall I was okay. The location of my pictures was the only thing that I feel upset me and made me realize how much more I needed to grow as a photographer. it was off on the side, in a shadow and a glear. There was no studio lights on them like the others had to showcase them and bring them to light. But there they stood, my work; one of 15 others. And I realized this was big. Its my first exhibit. Now that goes down in the books. If I weren't there, I'd be at home, feeling down not knowing a thing about this great exhibition. And here I was one of the artist featured in it, amongst many other great artist.
That night was overwhelming to the least. I received my first approach to buy my piece. That was beyond exciting, even though nothing came through, it made that night all the better. I met many new people. I was officially apart of a new community.
I wouldn't take back that night for anything. And, im now being introduced to amazing opportunities just from this. Things I would never have been able to do or learn, at least not this soon.
Yes, I still have a long way to go to be that "I know Im good, I dont care what anyone says" girl (photographer), but Im working on it. Im so happy with the opportunity this February has brought me. It was a big month.
AAAC @ Salt Space NYC: Featured Photographer: Erin Douglas
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